- Separate the person from the problem. Be soft on the person and hard on the problem. The person is the “X” and out of respect for the black family structure you must be soft. Anything other than that is of European origin because as conscious Africans you should understand that the black woman is Queen and the black man is King. In the words of Master teacher John Henrik Clarke: “Either we make it together or we will not make it” and those words should be stained on our mind. If it is not then you are in lock-step with a white supremacist agenda of divide and conquer. There’s absolutely no reason to introduce/use “white supremacist political structures” into the black man and black woman relationship; absolutely none. If you believe there is a reason then you are flat out wrong and dishonor ancestors who fought those same power structures. The problem is “Breakdown in the relationship” and this is where the black man or woman has the potential to become a “hood-rat” rather than a King or Queen. The urge of black people to run downtown and press the “white supremacist button” of child services is a stain on the entire black community. A King or Queen custodial parent would not sell the black non-custodial parent into financial slavery. If you know the black non-custodial parent is trying to find a job, to better themselves, has a felony on their record, homeless or somehow disabled then how dare you at that moment push the white supremacy button downtown with child services? It is a disgrace among us that must be revealed for the treacherous act that it truly is against black family structure.
- Focus on interests, not positions. When positions look incompatible, look at interests. The black child should be the focal point of interest and not the position of wealth of custody encouraged by the state and which supports a “hood-rat” mentality of bitterness, revenge and black family destruction. Black women continue to take the position that the child is more theirs than the father which plays right into the hands of white supremacy systems and long range plans. We must embrace an “Equal Partners in Conception” when it comes to CREATING LIFE. The black woman has got to get out of this European mindset. The black woman “fools herself” into thinking because she carried the seed for 9 months she’s owed special rights as if she created the life by her own immaculate conception. This hood-rat mentality must be confronted and called out for what it is; it’s ignorance. When having unprotected sex they fail to take ownership that it is their BIOLOGICAL ASSIGNMENT as a female human being you know that and forget about some special privilege for carrying it out your “biological assignment” that results in gender discrimination. Unlike the black Queen the hood-rat carries out white supremacy by thinking the “equal partners in conception” doesn’t exist. She now exalts herself above African family principles and embraces with supremacy power structures. Unknown and in some cases “known” self-hatred” towards African family structure. Black women/men have been fooled and preyed upon by white supremacy a.k.a child services to entrap their ‘X” into a system designed to destroy our relationship with each-other.
- Generate options for mutual gain. Work for a win/win approach. Black hood-rats (male & female) don’t want mutual gain they want personal destruction using white supremacist structures based downtown. There’s absolutely no excuse to subject the black child to a white supremacist system of child services no matter how much bitterness you have, how he/she cheated, how much money you think the wealth of custody is, etc. No matter how much the supremacist downtown tell you to go after the non-custodial black parent you should resist and think about the impact upon the black family structure. It is not a ‘win/win’ approach when you seek out to “push the white supremacist button” downtown. No matter the level of your bitterness, narcissism or ignorance of African culture when it comes to family structure you should not involve the state who has a track record of destroying black families. The only way for a win/win solution is for black parents to work from the point of “Equal Partners in Conception” in a child. Anything other than that is a destructive lie installed into a hood-rat mentality that sets up the destruction of the black community.
- Process is just as important as the outcome. Assure a fair process. If a custodial parent outcome is to ensure a strong self-esteem, social and mental outcome for the child then they would stay away from white supremacist power structures. Even though you mad, bitter or a unconscious black person you need to realize you will be ultimately sewing the seeds of your own child’s destruction and there’s no excuse for it. It is not fair or intelligent to think because you carried the child for 9 months that you get some special exemptions and authority. Using a white supremacist system to get revenge or prove some point that you have more power to destroy the non-custodial is a sickness that needs to be addressed. When have you seen a government system give a person of African decent a “fair process?” but yet black custodial parent subject the race to that system because they have been brainwashed with hate and encouraged in bitterness by a white supremacist system that profits off our inter-black family conflict. The only way for the black family structure to survive is to avoid white supremacist structures like “child family services” and embrace “Equal Parenting” in the best interest of the black child and not sell them (child & non-custodial) out to a white supremacist power structure designed to financially, emotionally and spiritual enslave them. *Do Not Do The Work of White Supremacist.
- Practice direct communication. Talk with others; not about them. Once a black non-custodial parent goes downtown and presses the “white supremacist button” and sees that the white supremacist system is going to give them: free food, free housing, free healthcare, free legal representation, tax breaks, etc. they embrace the destruction. When you involve the state child services their only goal is to maintain the friction between the black man and black woman. Never and I mean Never do they advocate a reunification of the black family structure; they only foster the bitterness, hatred and ignorance of division
between the two. Child services are waging a war of destruction on the black family and their mission is to stand the way and block the reunification of the black man and black woman and 8 out of 10 black custodial parents are embracing and fighting on the side of white supremacy.
The black man and woman have got to find a way to discuss and solve their internal problems without running downtown and pushing the white supremacist systems button. The non-custodial black parent has to swallow some pride and reach out to someone related to the person and talk to them especially if that person is a “black conscious sista or brother. It seems that the more queens engage and talk to hood rats that they become black women on the way to queens. No amount of bitterness, narcissism or hate should make you want to destroy a black child just so you can torment the non-custodial parent. We got to stop destroying our children’s self-esteem and making excuses why we’re doing it. In the end no matter how you feel about the black non-custodial parent you are destroying the self-esteem and future of a black child equally created by the black man and black woman. NO ONE gets “special right” because they carried the child 9 months. Man or woman can’t create a child alone. The special rights start and end at “Equal Partners in Conception” and to twist it to anything else is a perversion of African Family Structure and plays directly into the hands of white supremacy.
“We can’t have war between black men and black women because no one can be free if half the mind is tied up in conflict”–John Henrik Clarke